Melissa Moskowitz was interviewed on parenting in our class. She talked about her kids and how she raises them. As a parent she sets boundaries and limits (TV time, game time) for her kids to follow which is important to do as a parent in order for her kids to “have good habits and moderation in their lives.” She wants to raise her kids as “good citizens” having “strong values” and being “well rounded” individuals. She wants them ‘to explore their worlds” which I believe is something all parents should want for their children, in order for them to have their own perspective on life. She also doesn’t want her children to “emulate “her but wants them to be their own person. Parents should raise their children to be better than them and not make the same mistakes they did while respecting their children' s individuality.
I learned that parenting is very complex. Parenting may be hard for some while it may come natural to others. Regardless choosing to raise children is a life changing decision. That means that a parent now has another person to live for, care about and love. To teach them and guide them through life the best way the see fit. Parenting is a lot of work and it's not always going to be easy. But a parent has to be committed to being the best possible parent they can be for their children. Parents have to be able to provide for the needs of their children and show them unconditional love and want their children to be happy in life.
I learned that every parent has a different style of raising their child. A parent has to figure out their parenting style and techniques based on the type of children they have. They have to pay attention to them to see what will work and what will fail. Parents are always going to be judged for they way they choose to raise their children because everyone has their own ideas and styles. Not every parent is the same just like not every baby is the same. Parenting is a work in progress, it's a tough job but parents should be able to grow with their children.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Hw 57
Parenting 101
I feel like having a child and raising a child should be planned out. It should not be a "mistake". There's a difference between a bad parent and a good parent and knowing what you're doing is part of it. Parents should also take responsibility of how they raise their children.That's not to say that there aren't many different ways people choose to raise children.
Parents should want to set a good example for their children. To try and not have their kids make the same mistakes as they did. They should teach their kids right from wrong. Parents should know what they are getting themselves into because parenting is a around the clock job.
How a child turns out is dependent on the parents and environment they provide the child with.Parents have the power to shape a child's life and identity. Parents are a child's foundation, starting ground to becoming who they are.Parent's set the tone for the child's life. A parents should be that child's support, provide them with unconditional love and help aid them in life.Never the less parents and children should ultimately grow and learn with each other.
Reading the text "lesson plan for developmental psychology course" I found the different parenting styles interesting. It agree with me on the fact that parents have an affect on a child's identity/personality.Different parenting styles can either set a child up for success or disaster in life. I think that parents should be a balance of a permissive and a authoritative parent. In the way that the parent should accept that the child is after all a child. They deserve the freedom to make mistakes and be free while also trying to get the child to understand and learn from their mistakes. The parent should reason with the child while still understanding where they are coming from.
After reading "When Parenting Theories Backfire" it is clear that you can't learn how to be a parent from what you read out of a book. It most likely isn't going to work. The parent has to work with the child in order to figure out how they are going to parent them. Every child is going to be different so the parent just has to figure out a way to deal with them appropriately. There isn't a set way to raise children that is going to work for all parents, therefore they have to know what their dealing with in order to progress with their child from there.
I feel like having a child and raising a child should be planned out. It should not be a "mistake". There's a difference between a bad parent and a good parent and knowing what you're doing is part of it. Parents should also take responsibility of how they raise their children.That's not to say that there aren't many different ways people choose to raise children.
Parents should want to set a good example for their children. To try and not have their kids make the same mistakes as they did. They should teach their kids right from wrong. Parents should know what they are getting themselves into because parenting is a around the clock job.
How a child turns out is dependent on the parents and environment they provide the child with.Parents have the power to shape a child's life and identity. Parents are a child's foundation, starting ground to becoming who they are.Parent's set the tone for the child's life. A parents should be that child's support, provide them with unconditional love and help aid them in life.Never the less parents and children should ultimately grow and learn with each other.
Reading the text "lesson plan for developmental psychology course" I found the different parenting styles interesting. It agree with me on the fact that parents have an affect on a child's identity/personality.Different parenting styles can either set a child up for success or disaster in life. I think that parents should be a balance of a permissive and a authoritative parent. In the way that the parent should accept that the child is after all a child. They deserve the freedom to make mistakes and be free while also trying to get the child to understand and learn from their mistakes. The parent should reason with the child while still understanding where they are coming from.
After reading "When Parenting Theories Backfire" it is clear that you can't learn how to be a parent from what you read out of a book. It most likely isn't going to work. The parent has to work with the child in order to figure out how they are going to parent them. Every child is going to be different so the parent just has to figure out a way to deal with them appropriately. There isn't a set way to raise children that is going to work for all parents, therefore they have to know what their dealing with in order to progress with their child from there.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Hw 56
Interviews:
Q: Are you the oldest, middle , or youngest child in you family? How does that make you feel?:
Aiesha: I'm the middle child , It feels cool because I don't have to get jealous of who comes after me or who came before me.
Michelle: Middle, It feels like I can turn to an older or wiser person rather than a younger one.
Jamie: Middle,it doesn't make me feel any particular way...it is what it is.
Q: Do you feel like you have to compete with your siblings? If so, for what?
A: No, I don't have to compete with my siblings, I'm confident in my self.
M: Yes! With my older sibling I had to compete with him for toys and stuff and with my younger sibling I have to compete with for attention because I feel like the middle child and the oldest child get the most attention.
J: No, because I still get everything I want. If anything it would be in academics.
Q: Do you ever wish you were an only child? Why?
A: Yea because the only child gets all of the stuff but if I was the only child I'd be lonely and wouldn't have any fun.
M: No because then I'd be the center of attention and wouldn't be able to get away with stuff. It would also be pretty boring.
J:Yes! I just wish I didn't have a younger sister because she's so annoying.
Q: Which sibling are you closest with?
A : My sister because I can tell her anything and I trust her.
M: It used to be my older brother but since he moved out it is now my younger brother.
J: My older brother and I are because we are the closest in age, only 2 years apart.
Q: How often do you get into arguments with your siblings and over what?
A: I usually get into arguments with them a majority of the time either over clothes or when they start to irritate me and joke around too much.
M: A lot ! probably like three times a day especially with my little brother. We give each other the silent treatment. Over the most stupid things. I just get annoyed with him.
J: Everyday ,over everything.
Q: Do you ever feel like your parents favor one of your siblings over you? How does that make you feel?
A: Well not really...now that I'm older it doesn't really bother me but I think they favor my older brother because that was their first child, it's always like that. I think mothers always favor their first child.
M: Maybe my little brother. I sometimes feel he gets too spoiled. I feel like they love us differently in a good way.
J: No, I think I'm the favorite or at least my dad's favorite.
Q: How would you describe the relationship you have with your siblings?
A: Chaotic because they just act really crazy.
M: My relationship with my little brother is more nurturing and I try to be a good role model. My relationship with my older brother is more balanced. We help each other out depending on the situation.
J: It's different with each one. You know my relationships with different people are different.
Q: Do you go to your sibling for advice?
A: Um sometimes, it depends. If it's something really serious then yea. If it has to do with our parents. Like if I did something and I need help on how to tell my parents about it. I'll go to them for advice on it.
M: Yes when I'm in deep shit and I don't want to go my parents I turn to my older brother for help because he's been through a lot more.
J: No, because I don't think they are that much wiser than me. If anything I would go to them to vent.
Q: Would you say that your siblings have an effect on who you are? If so,in what
ways?
A: Yes in all types of ways like when I'm angry, when I need help, when I'm sad. They make me the way I am. I know for a fact that without them I wouldn't be who I am today. My personality wouldn't be the same. My life would also be dull.
M: Yes my brother influences me in my taste of music and maybe a few other things but I feel like I'm m own person. I hate it when my parents compare me to them. I'm trying to create my own path.
J: Yes! They influence my moods. They affect how I treat other people.
Q: What do you feel is the role you play in your family?
A: The honest and straight forward one. I keep it real with all of my family members. I don't hold anything back.
M: The good and responsible daughter. Which can be a pretty heavy role to live up to at times.
J: The Child... being the needy one because I always want something.
Q: Do you help your siblings out when they're in trouble with your parents or do you just let them face them alone?
A: (Laughs) I help them out but it also depends on what the situation is. But I do try to stick up for them mainly my younger siblings.
M: It depends... If they've got me into trouble before I use it as revenge. I let them face the fire alone.
J: yea I let them face them alone, laugh and put in my two cents against them because people don't get into trouble a lot in my house unless they deserve it.
Q: Do you get your siblings into trouble with your parents? How does that make you feel?
A: Oh yea I do , good because I just get them back for getting me into trouble.
M: Yea, it depends sometimes I feel like a jerk other times I laugh. I get good attention while they get bad attention.
J: If they did something to me yea... I do it all the time. I find it hilarious then I'm in a good mood. Like they deserved it.
Q: Do you ever get jealous of the amount of attention your parents show to another sibling?
A: Yes I do because sometimes I don't feel like they deserve it.
M: Sometimes especially if it's about good grades and I'm not doing so hot.... but I also don't mind them having the spotlight on them.
J: No I don't because I get a lot of attention.
Q: Who comes first - siblings or friends?
A: Siblings because at the end of the day they're all I have.
M: Siblings because they are blood. I have a completely different relationship with my siblings than I do with my friends. My relationships are different with certain people, it all depends...
J: I think friends are chosen siblings. I don't really know of any situations where I'd have to choose one over the other.
The interviews lead me to believe that siblings do have an effect on our personalities and they way we act. I also believe that a relationship with a sibling is one of the strongest relationships out there. It can be good or bad but at the end of the day they are one of the closest people to us, who we can turn to in need. Siblings are an important part of our lives and no matter how much we wished they didn't exist sometimes , life without them would be boring.
The interviews also showed that children do care about the approval and attention of their parents. They want their parents to notice them and show that they care. But they often find themselves competing with their siblings or others in the family for that special recognition. But this may not be true for some children who can do without the spotlight on them. Sibling rivalry is a common part of family life. Whether it's getting into fights with them or getting them in trouble. A relationships with siblings are different for everyone because every family is different we just have to learn how to deal with them.
These interviews also suggested that the "middle child syndrome" I researched isn't true for everyone. I interviewed only middle children to see if it would be true for them but it turns out it isn't. They don't really feel like their parents pay more attention to the oldest or younger sibling compared to them. If anything they feel like they get more attention than the youngest child. So birth order does seem to matter when it comes to the amount of attention a child gets from their parents. The middle child also seems to have a good relationship with the older sibling rather than the younger one.
Survey Question: Do your siblings influence your identity?
Q: Are you the oldest, middle , or youngest child in you family? How does that make you feel?:
Aiesha: I'm the middle child , It feels cool because I don't have to get jealous of who comes after me or who came before me.
Michelle: Middle, It feels like I can turn to an older or wiser person rather than a younger one.
Jamie: Middle,it doesn't make me feel any particular way...it is what it is.
Q: Do you feel like you have to compete with your siblings? If so, for what?
A: No, I don't have to compete with my siblings, I'm confident in my self.
M: Yes! With my older sibling I had to compete with him for toys and stuff and with my younger sibling I have to compete with for attention because I feel like the middle child and the oldest child get the most attention.
J: No, because I still get everything I want. If anything it would be in academics.
Q: Do you ever wish you were an only child? Why?
A: Yea because the only child gets all of the stuff but if I was the only child I'd be lonely and wouldn't have any fun.
M: No because then I'd be the center of attention and wouldn't be able to get away with stuff. It would also be pretty boring.
J:Yes! I just wish I didn't have a younger sister because she's so annoying.
Q: Which sibling are you closest with?
A : My sister because I can tell her anything and I trust her.
M: It used to be my older brother but since he moved out it is now my younger brother.
J: My older brother and I are because we are the closest in age, only 2 years apart.
Q: How often do you get into arguments with your siblings and over what?
A: I usually get into arguments with them a majority of the time either over clothes or when they start to irritate me and joke around too much.
M: A lot ! probably like three times a day especially with my little brother. We give each other the silent treatment. Over the most stupid things. I just get annoyed with him.
J: Everyday ,over everything.
Q: Do you ever feel like your parents favor one of your siblings over you? How does that make you feel?
A: Well not really...now that I'm older it doesn't really bother me but I think they favor my older brother because that was their first child, it's always like that. I think mothers always favor their first child.
M: Maybe my little brother. I sometimes feel he gets too spoiled. I feel like they love us differently in a good way.
J: No, I think I'm the favorite or at least my dad's favorite.
Q: How would you describe the relationship you have with your siblings?
A: Chaotic because they just act really crazy.
M: My relationship with my little brother is more nurturing and I try to be a good role model. My relationship with my older brother is more balanced. We help each other out depending on the situation.
J: It's different with each one. You know my relationships with different people are different.
Q: Do you go to your sibling for advice?
A: Um sometimes, it depends. If it's something really serious then yea. If it has to do with our parents. Like if I did something and I need help on how to tell my parents about it. I'll go to them for advice on it.
M: Yes when I'm in deep shit and I don't want to go my parents I turn to my older brother for help because he's been through a lot more.
J: No, because I don't think they are that much wiser than me. If anything I would go to them to vent.
Q: Would you say that your siblings have an effect on who you are? If so,in what
ways?
A: Yes in all types of ways like when I'm angry, when I need help, when I'm sad. They make me the way I am. I know for a fact that without them I wouldn't be who I am today. My personality wouldn't be the same. My life would also be dull.
M: Yes my brother influences me in my taste of music and maybe a few other things but I feel like I'm m own person. I hate it when my parents compare me to them. I'm trying to create my own path.
J: Yes! They influence my moods. They affect how I treat other people.
Q: What do you feel is the role you play in your family?
A: The honest and straight forward one. I keep it real with all of my family members. I don't hold anything back.
M: The good and responsible daughter. Which can be a pretty heavy role to live up to at times.
J: The Child... being the needy one because I always want something.
Q: Do you help your siblings out when they're in trouble with your parents or do you just let them face them alone?
A: (Laughs) I help them out but it also depends on what the situation is. But I do try to stick up for them mainly my younger siblings.
M: It depends... If they've got me into trouble before I use it as revenge. I let them face the fire alone.
J: yea I let them face them alone, laugh and put in my two cents against them because people don't get into trouble a lot in my house unless they deserve it.
Q: Do you get your siblings into trouble with your parents? How does that make you feel?
A: Oh yea I do , good because I just get them back for getting me into trouble.
M: Yea, it depends sometimes I feel like a jerk other times I laugh. I get good attention while they get bad attention.
J: If they did something to me yea... I do it all the time. I find it hilarious then I'm in a good mood. Like they deserved it.
Q: Do you ever get jealous of the amount of attention your parents show to another sibling?
A: Yes I do because sometimes I don't feel like they deserve it.
M: Sometimes especially if it's about good grades and I'm not doing so hot.... but I also don't mind them having the spotlight on them.
J: No I don't because I get a lot of attention.
Q: Who comes first - siblings or friends?
A: Siblings because at the end of the day they're all I have.
M: Siblings because they are blood. I have a completely different relationship with my siblings than I do with my friends. My relationships are different with certain people, it all depends...
J: I think friends are chosen siblings. I don't really know of any situations where I'd have to choose one over the other.
The interviews lead me to believe that siblings do have an effect on our personalities and they way we act. I also believe that a relationship with a sibling is one of the strongest relationships out there. It can be good or bad but at the end of the day they are one of the closest people to us, who we can turn to in need. Siblings are an important part of our lives and no matter how much we wished they didn't exist sometimes , life without them would be boring.
The interviews also showed that children do care about the approval and attention of their parents. They want their parents to notice them and show that they care. But they often find themselves competing with their siblings or others in the family for that special recognition. But this may not be true for some children who can do without the spotlight on them. Sibling rivalry is a common part of family life. Whether it's getting into fights with them or getting them in trouble. A relationships with siblings are different for everyone because every family is different we just have to learn how to deal with them.
These interviews also suggested that the "middle child syndrome" I researched isn't true for everyone. I interviewed only middle children to see if it would be true for them but it turns out it isn't. They don't really feel like their parents pay more attention to the oldest or younger sibling compared to them. If anything they feel like they get more attention than the youngest child. So birth order does seem to matter when it comes to the amount of attention a child gets from their parents. The middle child also seems to have a good relationship with the older sibling rather than the younger one.
Survey Question: Do your siblings influence your identity?
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
hw 55
Possible Question: Does birth order in a family matter? What are the effects that siblings have on each other?
Amber,
I think your question is interesting and you could focus it in any direction. You will also be able to find quit a lot of research to help you answer it. A suggestion for you would be to do some specific research on what "other" people do people try to get the approval of if it's not their family members.
Bryanna,
I like your questions so far, I just think you need choose one and make it even more specific like maybe "Why do people hurt the people they love? " something like that. I think you have an interesting topic.
Boyse, Kyla. "Sibling Rivalry." University of Michigan Health System (2009): 1. Web. 13 May 2010..
This article was on sibling rivalry, which according to the article is the cause of birth order. How siblings has effect our personalities and behaviors. That siblings start fighting and competing for attention in the family once a new sibling comes along. This is useful in answering my question because it shows how much of an effect our siblings have on us and the place we have in our families. How each child wants attention from their parents and feel like they have to compete with the others in their families in order to get it. It was also helpful in giving some tips on how to improve these relationships.
"Middle Child Syndrome ." iloveindia.com 1. Web. 13 May 2010..
This article was on something called "the middle child syndrome".
This is something that the middle child in the family experiences according to the article. Being the second born child cause them to have certain certain behaviors and characteristics that has an effect on the child's sense of belonging in the family. This article will be helpful because it gives an insight into how birth order effects the children in the family and their sense of belonging.
Kluger, Jeffrey. "The Power of Birth Order." TIME (2007): n. pag. Web. 13 May 2010..
This article was more specifically focused on the effects birth order has on
a child's personality. The "power" birth order has over the family. This article is helpful to my research because it provides insight on how our families and siblings shape who we are and our behaviors and habits. How birth order has an effect on the type of individuals people are and turn out to be.
Kluger, Jeffrey. "The New Science of Siblings." TIME (2006): n. pag. Web. 13 May 2010..
This article was on the relationships siblings have with each other. The way siblings interact with bone another and shape each other. This will be helpful because is shows how siblings have positive and negative effects on each others lives and roles in the family. How the parents interact with each child and how the family functions or how they are changed.
Amber,
I think your question is interesting and you could focus it in any direction. You will also be able to find quit a lot of research to help you answer it. A suggestion for you would be to do some specific research on what "other" people do people try to get the approval of if it's not their family members.
Bryanna,
I like your questions so far, I just think you need choose one and make it even more specific like maybe "Why do people hurt the people they love? " something like that. I think you have an interesting topic.
Boyse, Kyla. "Sibling Rivalry." University of Michigan Health System (2009): 1. Web. 13 May 2010.
This article was on sibling rivalry, which according to the article is the cause of birth order. How siblings has effect our personalities and behaviors. That siblings start fighting and competing for attention in the family once a new sibling comes along. This is useful in answering my question because it shows how much of an effect our siblings have on us and the place we have in our families. How each child wants attention from their parents and feel like they have to compete with the others in their families in order to get it. It was also helpful in giving some tips on how to improve these relationships.
"Middle Child Syndrome ." iloveindia.com 1. Web. 13 May 2010.
This article was on something called "the middle child syndrome".
This is something that the middle child in the family experiences according to the article. Being the second born child cause them to have certain certain behaviors and characteristics that has an effect on the child's sense of belonging in the family. This article will be helpful because it gives an insight into how birth order effects the children in the family and their sense of belonging.
Kluger, Jeffrey. "The Power of Birth Order." TIME (2007): n. pag. Web. 13 May 2010.
This article was more specifically focused on the effects birth order has on
a child's personality. The "power" birth order has over the family. This article is helpful to my research because it provides insight on how our families and siblings shape who we are and our behaviors and habits. How birth order has an effect on the type of individuals people are and turn out to be.
Kluger, Jeffrey. "The New Science of Siblings." TIME (2006): n. pag. Web. 13 May 2010.
This article was on the relationships siblings have with each other. The way siblings interact with bone another and shape each other. This will be helpful because is shows how siblings have positive and negative effects on each others lives and roles in the family. How the parents interact with each child and how the family functions or how they are changed.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Hw 54
I was placed in the ISTJ category. Once I got the results and read the description I realized that I am a lot like the description describes as the type of person I am in most situations. I could identify with many of the characteristics of the results. I noticed that the results were a combination of the letters that balanced each other out to form a personality type.Though that doesn't mean that I'm not also like some of the other categories. In some cases it depends on the place I'm in and the people I'm with that I noticed I tend to be more of an extrovert than an introvert ,etc. Other than that I pretty much already had a sense what type of person I am, without having this test grouping me into a category.
This was a preference test and the results were calculated given our preferences to the questions. Therefore, I think that people can act differently from their preferences depending on the environment/situation their in and surrounding influences.I thought that the test for the most part would be reliable and accurate. We'll probably be able to pick each others category and personality type but maybe we'll be one or two letters off.
I think the results of this test were to give people a better sense of who they are. Of what category they fall into. I think it wouldn't be to hard to guess what category people fall into knowing what the letters mean.This test could give people insight to the type of people they are if they haven't already figured it out or didn't know because they don't see themselves this way but others do.
This was a preference test and the results were calculated given our preferences to the questions. Therefore, I think that people can act differently from their preferences depending on the environment/situation their in and surrounding influences.I thought that the test for the most part would be reliable and accurate. We'll probably be able to pick each others category and personality type but maybe we'll be one or two letters off.
I think the results of this test were to give people a better sense of who they are. Of what category they fall into. I think it wouldn't be to hard to guess what category people fall into knowing what the letters mean.This test could give people insight to the type of people they are if they haven't already figured it out or didn't know because they don't see themselves this way but others do.
Monday, May 3, 2010
HW 53
Taking the survey was time consuming because of all the questions but it made me think about my life and the relationships I have. Some of the questions I hadn't really thought about but taking the survey forced me to think about them. I was glad that the survey was anonymous otherwise I don't think I would have been comfortable taking it. I also tried to answer each question as honest as possible even though it was anonymous. I did find that for some questions I couldn't give a straight yes or no answer, like I'd answer neutral and that made me question why?
I mostly found the answers to the questions about drug and alcohol use to be surprising because I was expecting a much higher percentage of people to admit that they have. I felt people weren't necessarily being honest while taking the survey and the results showed that. I also found the answers to the questions about family and friends to be interesting. For example, " You do stupid things/or things you don't particularly enjoy to fit in with your peers" I expected a much higher percentage of people to agree with that statement. I feel like people especially teens get peer pressured into doing things they might later regret in order to be accepted by their peers. Everyone want to be liked and fit in with the circle of friends they are trying to be apart of. The results to some of the questions about family were different from the way I answered them. Which made me realize that all families are different and have different beliefs. Not everyone is the same.
Overall I think Michelle said it best " maybe we don't know other people and maybe we don't know ourselves" in regards to the survey. We don't realize how much we really don't know people. The results show that because none of us really expected to see the results we did. They were either the same or different from what we predicted they would be in class.
Comparing our survey results to other survey results I noticed that for some of the questions the percentages were off. Based on the results from our survey I believe that a lot of people lied while taking it which contributed to the percentage gaps between the surveys.I don't think that our surveys results are that reliable due to many different factors like not everyone took the survey,etc. Though the surveys do bring up some interesting points about relationships and life than would be worth exploring more.
I mostly found the answers to the questions about drug and alcohol use to be surprising because I was expecting a much higher percentage of people to admit that they have. I felt people weren't necessarily being honest while taking the survey and the results showed that. I also found the answers to the questions about family and friends to be interesting. For example, " You do stupid things/or things you don't particularly enjoy to fit in with your peers" I expected a much higher percentage of people to agree with that statement. I feel like people especially teens get peer pressured into doing things they might later regret in order to be accepted by their peers. Everyone want to be liked and fit in with the circle of friends they are trying to be apart of. The results to some of the questions about family were different from the way I answered them. Which made me realize that all families are different and have different beliefs. Not everyone is the same.
Overall I think Michelle said it best " maybe we don't know other people and maybe we don't know ourselves" in regards to the survey. We don't realize how much we really don't know people. The results show that because none of us really expected to see the results we did. They were either the same or different from what we predicted they would be in class.
Comparing our survey results to other survey results I noticed that for some of the questions the percentages were off. Based on the results from our survey I believe that a lot of people lied while taking it which contributed to the percentage gaps between the surveys.I don't think that our surveys results are that reliable due to many different factors like not everyone took the survey,etc. Though the surveys do bring up some interesting points about relationships and life than would be worth exploring more.
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